A few weeks ago, I detangled my mother’s hair while she did some work at her desk. It wasn’t a long process—my mother has about a 3c/4a texture, and her hair was pre stretched, so it wasn’t really a burden for me. While she edited a video, i pulled out our detangler of choice, Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle (which at only 4 dollars a bottle is some of the best rinse out conditioner in the world), and went to work.
It wasn’t exactly fun, but it was good, quiet time. The two of us talked, even though my mother was working. We traded routine tips, we argued over whether you should detangle or wash first, we watched a few videos on youtube. It was good, peaceful time together, something rare for us, since I spend 9 months out of the year in Ohio now.
One of the things we talked about was my hair care as a child, a process that was the reverse of me taking care of her hair. She talked about how she regretted perming my hair, not only for health reasons, but also because it had caused a loss of sorts. Time that ordinarily would have gone to the two of us taking care of each other, spending hours with my shoulders between her thighs, my head in her lap, were gone. We spent those hours under separate driers in the hair salon. I didn’t go natural until boarding school, and so it had been years since we had been in each others hair like this.
During our hiatus, we talked a lot about wanting more lifestyle pieces on the site, not only because we one day one hope to earn those sponsorship coins (I would be happy to pimp your face cream/leave in conditioner/head wrap) but also because things like skin care and hair care can also be self care. Black women so often bear social burdens—both familial and public— by themselves, and in a world where dark skin and natural hair is devalued, taking care of yourself can be revolutionary.
However, we also want to incorporate our discussions of lifestyle into the mission of this blog, exploring of our home and where we fit into it. When we think of home, we think of routine, of tradition, of women who make beauty out of the everydayness of their lives until it too is worth writing about. So while we want to talk about the news (everyone should be stretching forth their right hand towards ‘Merica right now), we also want to take a break from it—we hope that’s fine with y’all.